Letter to My Children

There are too many things to say I'm sorry for. Many linger in my mind that you brushed off like a skinned knee. Kids are resilient and wired to believe and trust and can take an amazing amount of parental blundering, but some mistakes replay like infomercials. The first thing I'd like to ask your forgiveness for is being too preoccupied with 'art' or being too busy to catch butterflies or play house with you. I'd brush you off from my knee. I'd buy you toys to take my place. Another that comes to mind is laying down stupid rules and not enforcing the more important ones. I was inconsistent when it was convenient for me. Impatience was a way to get the day done. I didn't teach you how to be loved and cherished. I fell short in so many ways.

More recently, I've expected you to grant instant understanding because i have this disease, see, and I haven't considered the emotional toll it's extracted from you. I've 'expected' youto have empathy and cut me slack. This is so wrong and I see the enormous damage it could cause if you weren't such a strong woman. I'm not writing this for you because that would mean expecting something back, but I need to ask for your forgiveness, whenever and if you are able.